Family Reunion and Funeral 8/5 -8/11/2018

Doug and I had a hard time decided what to do, but Doug felt good about driving up with the kids by himself and he decided to leave on Sunday.  He made it to Pueblo Colorado and spent the night in a hotel there.

We went to church on Sunday and just stayed for sacrament meeting.  The bishop accounced that dad's condition had worsened and was now on hospice, but said to respect the family's privacy at this time - basically asking people to not come over and visit.  Which is what mom had told him to do.  She wanted people to know, but didn't need all of the craziness of the whole ward coming over.  

We had a lot of music while Richard and Tannie were around.  They like to play and they were practicing for the funeral and an upcoming baby blessing.  We all got involved with some good ole' heart and soul and Marcus even joined in for a bit.  :) 

Dad stayed in his room all day on Sunday and friends and family came over to visit.  Tim Vatalie came over and it was good to see him, he was pretty shaken up with the news.  The Cooley's and the Mechams came over which was fun to visit with them - families from my home ward.  My cousins came over, Jennifer, Heather, Angie, and Trisha.  I hadn't seen some of them for a long time, so that was fun too.

Tannie took the kids to the park in the evening while we were visiting - it made the house a lot quieter. My brothers and I walked down to meet the kids after our company left.  It was so good to get out and enjoy the weather.  I couldn't get over how great it felt outside! 

Through all of the sadness it really was nice to be with family and have the evenings to talk.  We stayed up late visiting and laughing. 

Both Saturday and Sunday morning we gathered just my brothers and my mom and said multiple prayers with my dad.  Expressing our love and appreciation for my dad and his life and for the plan of salvation.  We asked for a blessing to be on my dad during these last days and prayed for his release into the next life.  Both mornings were very touching and spiritual, I am grateful for my brothers for their heart felt prayers and for the knowledge we have of the Gospel.  I am so grateful for our Savior Jesus Christ and for his atonement that makes it possible for us to have eternal families.  Dad also had been praying a lot and near the end he couldn't get back into bed on his own.  Sunday evening we were glad some friends were there to help him up and in the middle of the night my brothers had to help him again.

Monday morning Marcus and I had planned to go for a walk.  I went past my parent's room into the kitchen and I could hear dad breathing still.  I went back to a my room a short time later and all was quiet.  I went and told mom that I thought dad might be gone.  She said that she hoped so and that she had been praying for him.  My dad peacefully left this world around 7:00 am Monday morning on August 6th, 2018.  It was a bitter sweet moment.  We were grateful that he didn't have to suffer any more, but we of course were heartbroken to have him gone.  I love my dad and will miss him.  He was an amazing man who gave all he had to his friends and family and to the Lord.

Marcus and I still went on our walk and it was a beautiful morning and I couldn't help but feel that my dad was glad we were out enjoying it.  A little hummingbird hovered right in front of us for awhile and seemed to say hello.  Later that morning we learned of a friend of dad's (Ryan Dunkley) who was out hiking and he said that he heard my dad say "take care" to him.  It was a special story he told us.

Well, it is a busy affair taking care of a funeral.  Mom had already started dad's obituary and the rest of us edited it.  Mom also worked on a slide show.  My brothers and I worked on our talks for the funeral and we made arrangements with the funeral home and hospice.

Doug and the kids arrived  Monday evening.  It was good to see them.  We had been given lots of food from family and neighbors - lots of desserts: brownies, cookies, pie, more cookies.  So it was good we didn't have to cook every meal.  Tannie and I did do a few meals while we were there to help.  Mom of course had just got back from their mission so her pantry wasn't very full.  Marcus and I went to the store at one point to get some necessities for our big clan.

Tuesday morning Doug helped with the kids so I could go with my mom and brothers to pick out the coffin and headstone.  That was a unique experience.  Afterwards mom and I went and picked out the flowers for the coffin.  We tried to find the ones that looked the most like wildflowers.  It was a bit tricky, but we felt like we found some good ones.  We stopped at Kitchen Kneads which was just next door and I bought an apron for my mom for her birthday.  

We went to the park on Tuesday evening and loved the Utah summer weather.  Marcus's family had arrived earlier and it was fun to have all of the cousins together. 

Sierra and Tyler were so fun to watch playing together.

Stefan and Damon had a blast playing Fortnite together

Doug was awesome and brought our hair cutting stuff so I could give all the boys hair cuts. 

Wednesday after breakfast we went over to the Petersens to spend some time with them.  We had lunch and visited. The kids loved playing in their back yard.  It was hot, but at least not humid. 

Wednesday evening we had a nice family meal and get together back at my moms to make it like a family reunion.  Richard's family had left for a couple of days to get ready for their own family trip after the funeral.  They came back Wednesday in time for dinner and our special evening.  Mom talked about their mission and gave the kids souvenirs and mementos from Canada.  It was hard to not have dad there, but we still had a good time. 

Thursday morning was a bit crazy having 3 families there, but we managed.  Mom really wanted to do something fun so we all went to the Logan Aquatic center.  It was a bit cold for my Texas crew, but we still had fun.  Grandma treated them all to snow cones which they all loved.  Jenna and Kaylee were the only cousins to go off the high dive.  They went multiple times and loved it - crazy girls!

We went back to the Petersens to get ready for the viewing (Mom, Annie, and I had gone over in the morning to set everything up).  We left the kids there and Doug and I went out to dinner at the Black Bear Diner - I had salmon and Doug had meat loaf.  It was really good.  It was our anniversary - so that is how we celebrated.  

The viewing was nice, the flowers turned out pretty well, but they didn't put in one of the ones we had asked for - oh well.  I guess it's tradition to have a display from the kids - so Richard helped make a stand out of skiis and canoe paddle and Annie and I put some things that represented dad on it.  Dad was teased about being the 'B' boy.  B stood for bikes, books, beats (music), blades (knives), boards (skiis), boats, and boots (hiking).  So this is what we made: I think it turned out perfectly.

We put out other displays. 

Our feet were very tired by the end - I only had brought high heels, what was I thinking? 

It was a long night, but it was great to see so many friends and family.  Lots came from our old Nibley home ward and it was good to say hello.  Doug and I went back to the Petersens and the rest of the family helped take things down and set them up at the church for the funeral on friday. 

We had to get up early to get everyone ready.  We realized that we had left Chris's and Tyler's church clothes at my moms, so Richard brought them and they changed at the church.  We did a quick photo shoot before the viewing on Friday morning. 

Yes my dad was photo-shopped in.  It's what my mom wanted. 

The funeral went very well.  I talked first and made it through pretty well until the end.  My brothers also gave beautiful remarks and shared their love for my dad.  All of the grandkids (and us parents) sang I Am a Child of God, and Families Can be Forever and then a family friend spoke as well.  The Chapel was very full, my dad was well known in his circles and loved and respected by many.  

The graveside service was nice and families visited and mingled.  We went back to the church after for a late lunch. 

 Datwyler cousins, we were only missing two.

Our family went back over to the Petersens for a family get together there.  Most of Doug's family was able to make it and it was good to spend some time with them.  I felt bad that we spent most of our time with my family, but such was the nature of the visit.  

Friends of my dad hosted a celebration of sort at the park by my mom's house.  I felt bad that I couldn't be there, but there was a good turn out of hiking buddies and others who had come to support my mom.  

Saturday we decided we had time to go to the fair before we headed home.  We went with Doug's brother and his family.  The kids had a great time.  We bought cotton candy to share and they each bought a little something as a souvenir. 

One last stop was shoe shopping for Damon and Tyler.  I had been planning on taking them this week back in Texas, and I didn't want to do it when we got home.  So we managed to find some shoes on sale for the both of them and the other three did pretty well while waiting.  Whew, check that off the list. 

We left for home around 3:00 in the afternoon.  We made pretty good time and stopped at the the Little America for ice cream cones.  The kids do fairly well.  We watch movies and have screen time.  They slept ok, and I was in the back for a good portion of the ride which helped the quarreling.  I really don't like this drive and I'm glad that we don't have to make it too often. 

It was a whirlwind of a week.  Lot of emotions and memories.  Grateful for forever families and our Savior. I will miss my dad, but I know that I will see him again.  I think of him often now and try to make better choices because I know he might be watching. :)  

Now back to normal life, hah - yes life goes on.  School in 3 days, ahh!

Food Bank, Magnatiles, and more summer fun - with a last minute trip to Utah 7/29 - 8/4/2018

The kids keeping busy with magnatiles, poisonball, and horsey rides. 

Update on my dad.  Dad was able to go to church on Sunday - for two hours.  He was able to get around, but not feeling well.  He had a stint put in to help with treatment but with each test and procedure dad was getting worse. So on Thursday night I got a call from Richard saying the my dad wasn't doing well.  They had gone into get some more tests done that morning, but the doctor basically said that it was time to call family in and there wasn't much to be done.  Marcus and I debated late that evening what to do.  Do we leave and drive with our families or do we fly alone.  We felt the urgency of the situation and decided to fly.  

A family meeting was scheduled for Friday morning that Richard attended with others (leaving scout camp early and driving late to get to.) It was shown that morning that the cancer was too far along and that treatment would no longer do any good.  Dad's kidneys were failing and he was put on hospice.  Marcus and I both landed in SLC on Friday around 1:30 in the afternoon.  My sister-in-law Brenda picked us up and after a quick stop at In and Out Burger we were on our way to Smithfield.  

They had discharged dad from the hospital that afternoon.  I saw him in his room on his bed.  He asked if I could tell he was looking yellow.  Yes he was yellow from the jaundice that he had.  He told me he loved me and thanked me for coming.  I didn't know what to say.  It was hard being there, but I'm so glad that I was there to be with my mom and dad.  We knew dad would be leaving us, we just didn't know how much longer he had.  He seemed pretty strong on Friday, walking around slowly and still talking a bit. 

Saturday morning I could hear mom and dad awake.  Dad was at the kitchen table trying to remember some trails that he had worked on.  We also looked at a map of Newfoundland and dad tried to show us some things.  It was so hard to see him trying to think and then not be able to remember or communicate what he wanted to say.  Dad stayed in his room for the rest of the day, but was able to get up when he needed to.  Family came and visited and to say good-bye.  

Dollar Store and more swimming fun! 7/22 - 7/28/2018

We went shoe shopping and ran some errands and I told the kids if they were good they could pick something out at the Dollar Store.  Kaylee and Chris chose huge lolli-pops and Jenna chose some gum.  They did pretty well at the shoe store - I really loathe shoe shopping.  Jenna was pulling a fit because she didn't need any (she got some new ones right at the end of the school year) so she was feeling left out.  Anyway, we survived, but just barely. :) 

 We invited friends to swim with us at the pool.

 We went to Splash Town on Saturday so that dad could join us.  We decided to get our 'free' mug that come with our season passes and the kids were excited to drink their root beer and powerade.

Update on my parents: After their doctors appointment on Monday they went home.  It wasn't quite the welcome home from their mission that they had imagined but there was a sign put out and some neighbors had been over to help in the yard.  Family had gone to the grocery store to stock the fridge.  Dad was doing ok, but not feeling well.  Now it was just a matter of waiting for test results and waiting for more test to be taken.  They had some other taken on Thursday.  The diagnosis was indeed cancer and plans were being made as to what treatment would be used.  A new drug was what the doctors wanted to use, then they were trying to deal with their health insurance to make sure that it would be covered.  

Marcus and Richard drove mom and dad's car from Boston to Smithfield and made it there on Thursday.  Richard left pretty quick but Marcus stayed and helped until Friday or Saturday.